November 11, 2010

10 ways to NOT make your home a haven

ha'ven noun. a place of shelter and safety; refuge; asylum.
1) Obsess over magazine covers. You probably feel that it's not good to obsess over trying to look like the airbrushed celebrities on certain magazine covers.  How is it any better to spend your life trying to make your home look like the homes on the covers of your favorite decor magazine?

2) Worry about your stuff. Don't own anything that is going to keep you awake at night worrying about it.  Use your stuff, don't let it use you.

3) Be trendy.  You can never keep up.  By the time you buy everything that is trendy right now, the trends have changed.  Surround yourself with things you love.  Only buy into the trends that suit you, your family, and your style.

4) Forget to rest and enjoy it.  Sometimes I feel like our home is just this place where we sleep and clean.  Be intentional about taking time to read in your favorite chair, or play a game with your kids around the coffee table.

5) Refuse to invite people over and share your home with them.  Stop waiting until your house is clean enough, or pretty enough or big enough.  Don't wait until you have time; make time.  When we invite people into our homes, we are inviting them into friendship with us.

6) Put tasks off until you have time to do them perfectly. This is the mystery by which perfectionists can sometimes have messy homes.  Are you putting off cleaning your pantry until you can get some more canisters and some pretty labels and maybe a new door?  Just do what needs to be done today.

7) Expect your family to change to meet your home's needs. Your home needs to change to meet your families needs, not the other way around.  Your husband may never ever stop throwing his dirty work socks on the floor. Either get used to it, or put a laundry hamper where the socks most often land.

8) Choose discontentment.  Contentment is a choice.  If you find yourself saying "once i have a new area rug, I'll be happy with this room" or "when I organize that closet my bedroom will finally be perfect!"  you've fallen into a trap that will never let you be happy with what you've got. Thank God for everything he has given you.  And enjoy what you have.

9) Go into debt.  Debt hurts.  It gnaws away at you and causes stress and tension.  Don't spend today what you may not have tomorrow. If you are already in debt, stop.  Start spending only cash, and paying into your debt regularly.  Watching that number go down every month brings a lot of peace. 

10) Nag your husband.  Your home will never be a haven if your husband dreads coming into it.  He is the God-given leader of your home and family; endeavor to treat him accordingly.

I think the ones I've struggled with the most are #1 and #10.  What about you?  What is getting in the way of your home truly being a haven?

12 comments:

  1. This is a great list and each of them so insightful. Some of them are more difficult for me too, at different times in life. Thanks for the reminder of what is important!

    ReplyDelete
  2. We're living with my in-laws for 6 months before we move into our first real home after living in studio apartments for the past 2 years. I've been thinking about what will be really important for our new place - and have to keep reminding myself of these things. Thanks for the encouragement! I think it's hard for me not to set my heart on something I see in the store that really is out of our budget, and just being content with what we have.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love your comments. Especially #5. I am SO guilty of this. We call it CHAOS syndrome. Do you know what that means? Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wonder often as I read this blog how many people know about FLYlady...

      Delete
  4. You have read my mind with #6! I am the worst offender for this and literally only realised this last night.. If I don't have enough time to do everything, it doesn't get done. Example, right now, I have a whole heap of plastic containers to be put away in various cupboards, but I also wish to wipe out said cupboards. Logically, it would make sense to wipe out the cupboards while they are mostly empty, and put the clean containers away then. But I don't have the energy right now to wipe out the cupboards, thus, the containers are still on the bench! I am a perfectionist, organised, neat freak in a messy house!

    ReplyDelete
  5. This whole list is fabulous, but I love "contentment is a choice". Thanks for the great reminders about what is really important.

    ReplyDelete
  6. What a great post. I absolutely struggle with 5 & 8. We're re-doing a one hundred year old house and I'm constantly thinking #5 which is not fair to my kids but I'm working on it! Thanks for the words of wisdom :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow, I was right there with you, til you said you husband was a God given leader. I don't think (leader or otherwise) that gives him a right to treat the place with disrespect (ie, work socks you mentioned). I mean, no one is perfect, but that's no excuse to accept lazy or create more work for yourself. He's another adult in your home, and show help to make it a home, by looking (at the very least) after his affairs in a way that set a pleasant example to your children. Sorry!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A better example to children would probablly be more patience, love and tolerance of others and their quirks and imperfections instead :)

      Delete
  8. Great ideas and great outlooks on life--Can't do number 10 though--you should lead together--enjoy your blog alot!! Robin

    ReplyDelete
  9. I struggle the most with #6 and #10 which is ironic because I am nagging my husband because I want my house to look perfect, but meanwhile I am putting things off because of my perfectionistic tendencies, therefore my husband has the worst of both worlds: a messy house and a nagging wife! I have definitely been working on both already and this is a good reminder to continue doing so. As a Christian woman I definitely agree with you that the husband is the leader in the home because that is what God's Word says. His Word never changes just humans and the cultures that they live in. I love reading your blog and your honesty!

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...