29 Things I Learned in my 29th Year

Tomorrow is my first annual 29th birthday (please laugh, I've been waiting to use that joke for years now), and this past year has been challenging and exhausting in a million small ways I can't articulate right now. And Blessed. Blessed with my sixth child who is hands down the happiest baby I've ever met, blessed with friends who know me and get me and see the needs of my spirit far more clearly than I do and blessed with a marriage that is stronger today than it was a year ago, that speaks safety and strength and love as truth into both of our lives, and into our children's lives as well.

And so to celebrate my birthday, and because I'm a list maker by nature, I want to share 29 little (and big) life lessons that I have learned this year:

1. When a kid says from the back seat "I think I'm going to puke" pull over. Immediately.

2.  Having two year old twins is pretty much never ending chaos. Beautiful, messy, exhausting, blessed chaos. Is it nap time yet?

3. Every time I step out of my comfort zone and share my soul with another person I discover that they can relate and we are all pretty much silently struggling with the same stuff. Every.Single.Time. 

4. Dark coffee actually has LESS caffeine. I feel gypped.

5. When we apologize with a simple "I'm sorry" without any excuses, we give the other person a chance to truly, freely, unconditionally forgive us. And being forgiven like that, not because you could excuse your behaviour or defend yourself well enough but simply because the other person values the relationship? That is a great feeling.

6. Grace. Far from perfectly, but increasingly, I am coming to learn the meaning of grace.

7.There's this thing called "yarn bombing" and it is both nonsensical and awesome.  Go google it if you don't know what I'm talking about. 

8. Telling people "You're wrong" has a way of really shutting down discussion. Must work on that.

9. Facebook arguments are stupid. Really. Ain't nobody got time for that. Also, refer back to #8

10. I think I've finally convinced myself to stop trying to put an "a" in the word definitely.

11. I am officially too old to dye my hair fire engine red. I'm not saying that you are too old for it, just that I am.

12. That cute little kid Anakin turns out to be Darth Vader. Don't Judge me, I hadn't seen all the movies until this year.

13. Feelings are real, but they aren't always true. Accept your feelings, but don't let them lie to you.

14. Building your own sofa and covering it in patchwork fabric? Really stinking time consuming.

15. Children's birthday parties don't need to be big and fancy and themed. In fact, they can be planned without any crafty ideas from pinterest or custom invitations. Back in the day, our moms made us a cake from a box and stuck a dollarstore pin-the-tail-to-the-donkey on a wall in the basement and what happened? We had a blast.

16. I will never ever be the June Cleaver mom I thought I would be. I own pearls and a vacuum, but I rarely use either on it's own, let alone at the same time. And that's okay. (Full disclosure: the idealized mother figure I hoped I would be was more of a June Cleaver/Angelina Jolie cross with a dash of Martha Stewart thrown in.  Either way, I'm not it.)

17. Grains make me tired and moody. Paleo makes me poor. I'm at an impasse.

18. If you are having trouble loving someone, serve them. Humbling yourself in voluntary service to them will soften your heart for them.

19. It is really *really* easy to pass our fears and insecurities on to our children. Sometimes you just have to choke on your own terror and say "Go ahead, sweetie, try it. I'm here."

20. When someone is suffering and you don't know what to say and you are afraid to open your mouth because what comes out might be trite or awkward, say something. Something is better than nothing. I was told this by a friend after the tragic loss of her baby and it speaks so much truth to my avoid-the-awkward-at-all-costs tendencies. Those awkward words of sympathy are so much better than avoiding eye contact or pretending that the world as they know it hasn't just shaken and broken and changed forever. So say something. Even if it's a stammering "I'm so sorry, I wish I knew what to say...I love you"

21. You will never be caught up on laundry. Ever. You would have to be naked to be caught up. So stop trying.

22. Giving away an item a day for 100 days will totally completely change you. It will change your home, your shopping habits, the way you clean and declutter, your attitude towards stuff and people and life. And there is a good chance you won't even miss the stuff.

23. This need to make everyone think we have it all together and that we don't really need anybody? It is drastically, devastating contradictory to what God wants for us.

24. It's okay to feed your family convenience foods once in a while. Aunt Jemima is not the devil.

25. Facebook is not real life.

26. A splash of apple cider vinegar in a glass of water several times a day can help cure a sinus infection.

27. Building blanket forts is so much more important than washing dishes.

28. Kids will make a mess. If it's not at the kitchen table with watercolour paints it will be in the bathroom smearing 5 dollar hippie toothpaste all over the mirror. May as well choose the controlled chaos and let them paint.

29. My readers are a fabulous, encouraging, funny and delightful community of women who really "get" me. Thanks so much for reading. I love having this happy little corner of the blogosphere.