July 22, 2013
For When Motherhood is Kicking your Ass
This is a letter to the mom who feels weary and burdened and broken today.
For the mom who went to bed last night promising herself she'd have more joy and patience and energy today but doesn't.
This is a letter to the mom who's constantly trying to find the balance between work and home, healthy and convenient, clean and clean enough.
To the mom who sometimes silently fears that she's made a huge mistake. That she's in over her head. That maybe she can't do this mommy thing.
To the mom who feels like everyone is keeping it together except her. Who scrolls through her facebook feed feeling inadequate because everyone else seems to have a picture perfect life and you can hardly manage to keep up on the laundry.
To the mom who knows that her children are blessings but just doesn't feel it lately.
To the mom who fears she's failing at the thing she most wants to succeed at. This is what I want you to know today...
Friend, know that you aren't alone. You so aren't alone. The more I tear down the walls between myself and the women I know, as we probe deeper into each others lives and bare our own souls and find community in our own brokenness, the more I learn that we are all weary and weak and struggling sometimes. You are not alone.
Motherhood is hard. It is reasonable and rational to feel overwhelmed by the huge task set before you. Simplify. Prioritize. Choose to be present when it's easier to get lost into the computer screen. Be good to yourself. Ask God for strength and patience. Cry a little.
Please stop comparing. You and your children each possess a unique set of skills and challenges, joys, strengths and fears. You aren't your mom or your sister or your best friend or your favourite blogger. And nobody is asking you to be. So stop comparing and dig in to what it means to be fully you.
Brokenness is the beginning of grace, and boy are our kids going to need to know how to extend and receive grace. The grace of God, the grace to navigate relationships and life and love, the grace to forgive us one day for all the mistakes we will make. We learn about grace together, big knees and little knees knelt together on cheerio laden floors.
Survival mode is okay. You aren't planning any paper bag crafts or cooking a four star meal, you are just making it through until bed time. Maybe tomorrow will be easier, maybe it won't. Survival mode is okay.
It's okay to need help. Whether it's from friends or family or a Molly Maid or ordering takeout or making an appointment with your family doctor. We weren't designed to be independent and perfect and alone. It's okay to need help.
And finally, let's commit to remember these days. I am so thankful for women in my life who remember what it was like to have little people at their feet needing them all day and are willing and able to stand in the gap and help me and encourage me through this season of motherhood. Commit to remember, so that one day you can hold a friend's baby while she showers alone.
Keep going, mama bear. You can do this.
filed under: encouragement