April 11, 2013

10 Things to Do When Motherhood is Stressing You Out


I don't have it all together, I promise.  Some days I want to savour every moment because I know that the days are long but the years are short and before I know it my six little children will be all grown up.  Other days I just want to survive until my husband comes through the door with a take-out rotisserie chicken and bagged salad for dinner. Motherhood is a beautiful, messy, terrifying, exhausting, glorious and heart-wrenching calling that requires more from us than we ever knew we had.  And we wouldn't trade it for the world, would we?

Here are a few of the ways I pause to breathe deep and remind myself why I chose to raise this sticky fingered army in the first place.

1. Sit down on the floor and let the little ones climb all over you.  Cuddle, tickle, colour in a princess colouring book, breathe deep and relax. 

2. Light a candle (out of reach of little hands) and give thanks.

3. Take a picture of the mess and maybe the little hands making it.  Somehow it's easier to see the beauty and life in the mess through the lens of a camera.


4. Go outside barefoot.  (Weather permitting.)  Just being in the backyard with your bare feet in the grass while kids run and play around you is refreshing to the soul.

5. Cry.

6. Remove something from your to-do list.  Be it a mental or actual list, something can go.

7. Remind yourself that your parents didn't have it all together (really, I promise they didn't) and you turned out fine (we've all had some bumps along the road, but they don't make us who we are.)  Show yourself some grace. 

8. Resolve not to speak when you are angry.  Don't make any major decisions when you are frustrated.  Make tea instead.

9. Turn off the computer.  It's tempting to tune out and browse facebook or pinterest,, but when I turn off the computer and focus more on my kids I am always glad that I did. (and so are they!)

10. Plan a break.  A few weeks ago hubby and I were both feeling overwhelmed and it only took a quiet hour in a book store and a couple vanilla lattes to leave us refreshed and ready to dive back in to our crazy loud busy life.

May you be blessed today in the midst of the chaos with the certainly that it is exactly where you are meant to be.

38 comments:

  1. Thank you for this today!

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  2. Monique EinwechterApril 11, 2013 at 3:02 PM

    Thank you for this! I have three tykes under 3 and we are dealing with sickness right now and I am feeling the stress.

    The Lord bless you,
    Monique

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  3. This is a great list! I love the stopping to take a picture one. As soon as the camera comes out, my kids start hamming it up with cheesy grins and acting silly, which would of course stop any naughty behaviour and make me smile instead of yell!

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  4. Love how you make time to encourage other moms. Don't know how you do it but I know I enjoy receiving your updates. Be blessed!

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  5. Thank you! Definitely needed this today! :)

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  6. Thank you.

    Thank you.

    Thank you.

    Today's been one of those days.

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  7. I have 4 kids I under 4, & this is such a great reminder! Especially the suggestion to make tea. Next time I'm ready to yell, I'm putting the kettle on instead!

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  8. Helpful tips,thanks for sharing and relieved to feel I'm not alone:)

    Lusine

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  9. i love this post - thank you! And so true!

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  10. Thank you for this post...I couldn't have come at a better time. Not having a very good week and my children and grown and live away from home. Mothering is never done. I love you and look forward to each post from you.

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  11. I just tried taking a picture. Now this mess looks adorable. How did that happen??

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  12. auuggh. (in A good way...) You make me cry!! Thank you for the reminder. Also, I didn't comment in that post, but your craftroom post from a couple of days ago, with the "Dear mom on the phone.." Killed me. Literally broke my heart...but I am so thankful for the conviction of it, and more importantly having another opportunity to remember that when I fail, my Saviour didn't....
    Thanks Kelly!

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  13. Thank you. These are words every parents need to hear now and then, and I am glad you've helped many of us remember how hard it can be, and how simple it is to make it better if we take a step back and gain some perspective.

    Thank you.

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  14. I Love this post i do alot of these things from time to time and i only have one baby! but i know its true what they say "It doesnt get easier, you just get better!"

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  15. Thank you for this- I have days like this, but i try to take a step back and look at the bigger picture... What am i doing here? I am spending the whole day with these great little people who love me so much. I can let my frustrations get the best of me and we can have a stressful day or I could let it all go and enjoy life's little moments.... Remember- kids don't remember if the house was perfect, if mommy had fabulous hair and beautiful make up- they remember story-time in mommy's lap, snuggles, giggles, cookies, play-time, long chats, walks, puddles.... I try to see our day through their little eyes sometimes and it seems like an adventure!!!

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  16. I think we all needed this. I love #7. Before having children, I always thought my parents had to have been 100% perfect. Now, I'm beginning to see through new eyes and realize, they probably didn't either. And now I'm asking the right questions, too. Rather than saying "mom, how did you keep all 6 of us kids looking perfect all day long?" I say, "mom, what did you do when your babies wouldn't go to sleep and you wanted to scream?"

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  17. Thank you. I've taken a picture before too. The mess always seems much smaller in my photo then it does in my living room. If you don't speak when you're angry and frustrated, what do you do? Run away? How do you calm yourself down to speak and address the situation? So true that just an hour away from the kids makes my heart miss them terribly and ready to parent again.

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  18. Needed this today - thank you so much. Reminds me what is really important.

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  19. Kelly! I love love love this list, and I'm not a mother (yet) but I am a grad student. So I adapted it to apply to gradschool, and gave you a shout out! www.mylifeinalabcoat.com

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  20. "... days are long, but the years are short!"
    Oh, that is so true! I will write it in big letters on my kitchenwall. ;o)
    Thank you so much.

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  21. Hi Kelly!
    I've been reading your blog for a while now and I just want to give you a virtual high-five! You are a great blogger, mom and woman.
    I love the way you keep it simple - just pure love and gratitude.
    Thank you so much!

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  22. Great practical advise! Your blog is one of my favorite. God Bless!

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  23. Thank you for this today. With four kiddos in our house (14,12,9,2) there is always a crisis. Lately our 14 year old has been the one pushing the limits. To me, it seems easier to deal with motherhood stress with the littlest one. But after reading this, I realize that these same rules should apply to my oldest. I guess it is just harder since he is taller than me now! :)

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  24. Make tea instead. I love that! That is going to be my new mantra.
    Amber

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  25. These are great tips, Kelly. I'm on the other side of this - my kids are grown - but these things would have definitely helped me through those tough times.

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  26. Excellent tips, Kelly. I'm the same as Homemakersdaily, but even then there are days like that anyway!
    Love your blog. I'm going to get my daughter in law to check you out. She has four daughters aged from 8 down to three months. She is just fantastic! :)
    Bless.

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  27. very good advice!! :) Love your blog!

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  28. >>>Don't make any major decisions when you are frustrated. Make tea instead.
    OH YEAH! I am a firm believer that tea can fix anything :)

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  29. Thanks for making me cry. I will hopefully remember these this week when things get overwhelming.

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  30. Turn off the computer. :-) Good advice. let us do that more often. I like this blog.

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  31. Bless you, Kelly! Shared this with my dear DIL who was blessed by it!

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  32. This is great advice. You are a wonderful mother and sister. The Love of Jesus is evident in your counsel. Keep up the great work and don't forget to pray when things get challenging.

    With Love,
    Paul

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  33. Thank you! I read this and your introduction on who your blog is for and I cant say thank you enough. I saw on your blog you had 6 kids and i was interested to see how you handled it everyday! thank you for bringing me back to reality. Everything doesn't have to be perfect! I think there is a lot of pressure for Mom's especially stay at home mom's and i appreciate you keeping me and all the other women out there who are stressed and overwhelmed a little more grounded. :)

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